Confessions
by Holocron Coder
Summary: Private dossiers read, personal extranet histories revealed, Tali and Shepard beat around the bush.


Apologies for the long delay. Anime Weekend Atlanta, classwork, a fever... pick one or all of the above as the reason. But, it's here! I hope I addressed a few issues people brought up.

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"'Fornax'? 'Quarians under their suits'? 'Quarian/Human mating'?"

Shepard desperately wished, for a moment, that he had Kasumi's tech with him. Being invisible would be a huge improvement over his current predicament.

While one would think that having Tali (his friend? his lover? his girlfriend?) discover his extranet curiosities would be preferable over, say, Garrus finding out, it was anything but in Shepard's current opinion. It wasn't really something to be embarrassed over, most would think. But the fact that his "innocent" Tali (he refused to ponder on the information had he discovered in the dossier so recently) had found out that Shepard had, at times, been not quite so innocent was quite mortifying to the man.

Was she mad? Only upset?

Amused?

… Aroused?

The last possibility stuck out in his mind as much as the first, though in quite a different manner. How he wished he could see her face in a different setting other than their earlier… intimacy. Shepard's face grew redder as the thought of her face brought images of Tali stretched out beneath him, straddled above him, pressed against the wall, surging into his mind at once. His mind blanked pleasantly.

All of these thoughts ran through his head in mere moments, although he remained silent for quite a bit longer, mind largely stunned into an infinite loop of "oh shit" and visions of Tali.

Meanwhile, the quarian in front of him had a similar loop running through her own mind, substituting the oath "Keelah" in place of the aforementioned excremental curse and, of course, substantially fewer visions of herself.

She hadn't thought through what she was going to say before blurting out some of the things she had found in his extranet search history. His reaction, and the subjectively all-too-long silence that pervaded the room afterward started to wear on Tali's nerves. Her omnitool off, she began to wring her hands together as she stood from the bed, her mouth already running more without any input from her brain.

"N-n-not that there's anything wrong with those things. Everyone wants to know what we quarians really look like, since it's been so long since anyone has really seen us, and we don't exactly allow many people onto our ships, so nobody really has the chance to see one of us by chance." Tali barely paused for a breath before rambling on. "And everyone looks up Fornax at least once. Sometimes more, even. I mean, even I have looked it up a few…" Tali inwardly gaped at the sort of things she was starting to disclose, turning a deep shade of embarrassment behind her visor even as she continued. "… times. Especially once I was on the first Normandy with so many humans. I had almost never seen any humans before, and I was so _curious_, since your people look so similar to mine, at least in the manner of sexual dimorphism, and -"

The rambling quarian cut herself off with a final "Oh, Keelah, please don't hate me." She covered her visor with her hands and quietly panicked for a moment. Was he mad that she had intruded on his privacy? Was he disappointed?

… Was he going to yell?

Her stomach did a pleasing little flip at the thought. She had only seen Shepard angry enough to yell a few times in the entire time she had known him, but those few times had been impressive in their intensity. She really, _really_, didn't know why she found it so fascinating (among other things, she shuddered pleasantly at the thought), but there it was.

Obviously, Shepard was going to think she was a pervert and-and-and.

Tali didn't know what else to think, but she peeked through her fingers at Shepard… Only to see him looking back at her. A blush colored her face once again as his split into a slowly widening grin. Then, much to her mortification, he started laughing.

It was a few moments before his apparent hilarity died down enough for him to spit out anything intelligible. "Yo-you're just so adorable when you're flustered."

Tali took a moment to regain her composure before crossing her arms across her chest with a huff. "I did not mean to tell you that," she stated stiffly.

Shepard, perhaps sensing a chance to assuage his lover, stepped towards her with his arms open. As soon as he was close, she leaned forward into his embrace and hugged him back. "… You don't think I'm a pervert, do you?" she ventures, tentatively.

Shepard grinned and replied, abashedly, "I can hardly label you such after you've seen my…" He tries to find a good word, but fails, waving his hand to finish off his sentence.

Tali leaned back to look up at him, smile evident in her voice. "Personal time? Curiosities? Porn fetishes?"

Shepard blushed. "Yes. Those."

The amused quarian was quiet, momentarily content to be in her lover's arms. After a few moments, a thought teased its way into her mind and past her lips. "So… you already knew what I looked like before I took off my mask?"

Shepard released his hold on Tali and gave her a rueful smile. "Not really," he replied. At the curious tilt of her head, he continued. "You'd be sort of surprised at how much debate there is over what quarians look like. It's hard to sift the reality from all the guesses. I had… some idea, but nothing concrete. Even those that know seemed to think it a matter of privacy and weren't really sharing." Shepard sat on the edge of the bed and toyed with a random trinket from his bedside table.

Tali nodded, with some relief. A good portion of her hesitation leading up to their first night together was based around the worry that Shepard, who had seen her for her, despite her mask, would be appalled at what was actually _behind_ that mask. Although humans were passably quarian enough to Tali's eye (_especially_ to Tali's eye, she had to admit to herself, with a blush), it was not guaranteed to be something that went both ways. Whether or not it did, Shepard had looked upon her at that moment not with horror, but with emotions much more… affirming.

She looked over at the man, a shy look hidden behind her visor. A small, naughty grin crossed her face. "So, did you find anything you liked?"

Shepard looked up at Tali and blinked owlishly, face turning red. "Er… no. I have no idea what you mean," he responded all too quickly.

The quarian grinned and slowly sashayed over to the bed, wide, fetching hips making interesting motions you would not think such a previously-shy woman would make. Shepard stared, eyes holding a bit of anxiety mixed with a lot of other, more… carnal feelings. "Are you sure? You didn't find anything of interest?" she asked again, now standing between Shepard's spread knees.

Deciding to give as much as he was given, Shepard leaned forward and rested his head against his lover's stomach, his hands wandering behind her. "Well… perhaps," he admitted. He continued speaking slowly. "I had seen something about… special dances, that quarian women are known for."

Tali blushed, invisible to Shepard, and nodded slowly. She otherwise remained quiet, attention focused on the movement of Shepard's hands. "Y-yes," she managed to stutter out, having realized that she had not replied. "A-and?"

Shepard grinned and nuzzled the soft exterior of Tali's suit. "And that sounds like something to see."

"… O-oh," Tali replied, embarrassed but intrigued.

Deciding to get back at his lover even more, Shepard continued, "And I remember one other thing I had found. Recently, in fact."

Tali leaned her head back as Shepard's hands reached… interesting places. She was, however, able to produce a curious noise, tinged only with a bit of breathlessness.

"'Nerve-Stim Pro'?"

Tali felt her gut turn to nervous iciness, in what she imagined felt much like Shepard's had not a few minutes before. "W-what?" she squeaked, stepping back from the man and staring at him, wide-eyed and nervous. If he could see her face, he was sure she'd be as dark with blushing as he'd ever seen her.

"Oh, it was just something I read about over on Liara's ship," he replied, nonchalant in his motions even if his eyes betrayed a certain tease. "I didn't know what they were, so I looked them up."

Hoping to deflect, Tali asked, "So, who on the ship is using such a thing?"

Shepard smirked and raised an eyebrow in question. "Tali, I never said it had to do with anyone on the ship."

Oh.

"… and who else on the ship would have a use for an application used by those in environment suit.

Oh, Keelah.

Tali wrung her hands together nervously, eyes on the ground and unable to look up at the man. If she had, she might have seen the grin he quickly suppressed.

"Of course, there's nothing wrong with it," he went on. "After all, it's only used to feel the outside world. Like a second set of skin."

Tali hoped with all she had that Shepard really had run across one of the more politically-correct summaries on the extranet. She bounced on her toes slightly, hope rising that she could claim a truly innocent excuse and not have to face any more embarrassment.

"… Well, I say 'only', but the article seemed to suggest a few more… interesting uses."

And Tali's hope died with an almost audible _thunk_. No such luck.

"… I didn't really read much further, so I'm not sure what those uses would be."

Wait, hope wasn't dead just yet! Perhaps this would only be a little bit embarrassing.

"… I was hoping you could tell me _all about those uses_."

Hope died a horrible death on the operating table as Tali covered her visor with her hands, rocking back and forth in mortification. Her lover, who had thought her so innocent and loved her for it, had found out just how _not_ innocent Tali was. She was pretty sure she had found a place beyond all blushing. This was a new level of embarrassment, and they would name it after her.

She peered through her fingers and admitted with a sigh and a nod. "That article was a bit more... as you humans say, 'politically correct' than the truth."

Shepard grinned, but blushed a bit at the implication. "So, uh... I guess you still have it?"

Tali hesitated, then nodded uncertainly. Shepard saw that he had perhaps pushed her a bit too far and reached out, taking her hands in his and pulling her closer. "Hey, now, it's alright. No judging here. 'Everyone does it' and all that."

She relaxed only slightly, nodding a bit in agreement.

Shepard smiled and pulled the quiet quarian into his lap, wrapping his arms around her waist. "What I _am_ curious about, though, is why you still need it?"

Tali cocked her head to one side and ask amused, "Do you really not know how that works?"

Shepard laughed once, loudly, and grinned at her. "Oh, I do," he replied, smirking. He sobered slightly before continuing. "That's not what I meant, though. What I mean is..." he frowned, trying to put his thoughts into words. After a moment, he visibly gave up trying to word this gently. "I mean, you have _me_. Do you still need that?"

Tali laughed a little bit even as she colored behind her helmet. "Thinking quite highly of yourself, aren't you?"

Shepard gaped in vague horror at the thought of having _not_ been pleasing to his partner their one night. Horror gave way to wry amusement as he quickly caught on to the giggling quarian's jest. "Uh huh, very funny, Tali," he replied, poking at her side and eliciting only more giggling.

Tali calmed down slowly, often prodded into more giggling by the memory of the look on Shepard's face. However, calm down she did.

"To be honest... I _haven't_ had you, re-ecently." She almost stuttered to a halt at the very obvious, if very _true_, double entendre, but she forced herself to keep going. "I mean, first I was sick, and then everything with repairing the Normandy, then... and I wasn't sure if..."

Shepard tilted his head and lifted her face by the chin of her helm. "If what?"

Tali rubbed her hands together. "If you still wanted me. If that wasn't a one time thing since we were likely to die."

Shepard blinked. He hadn't thought of the recent days like that. Not at _all_. There really _had_ been a lot going on. It hadn't left much time for intimacy between the two of them, for sure, but he hadn't thought it had been enough to make her question things between them.

He lifted her hands and kissed the back of them each once. He was quiet for a moment. "It's not like that, Tali. Not at all. I feel things for you even _more_ strongly than before. Friendship, l-love." He stuttered over the word uncertainly, but soldiered on. "Romance, other... things." He looked up at her eyes through her visor. "Everything."

Tali blushed behind her visor at his boldness before leaning the forehead of her helmet against his; giving him the closest thing to a kiss her visor would allow.

Shepard grinned. "Of course, I had no idea if you could _handle_ more of me so soon." He ran an eye over her. Beautiful face, hidden behind her visor. Petite breasts, but just enough. Slender, shapely stomach, femininely muscled after all those years of combat. Oh god, hips; hips that demanded attention framing a shapely bottom that he had caught more than one crewmember, human or otherwise, male or otherwise, staring at upon occasion. Strong thighs, currently straddling him. "If I had known my woman was such a _nympho_, I would have obliged her much sooner."

Tali gaped at Shepard's blatant... everything, before scoffing, amusement in her voice. "_Your_ woman?"

"Yes," Shepard growled, gripping her rear in his large hands. "_Mine_."

Tali shuddered. She was perfectly fine with that.

And she proved it all that night.

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So, I hope this little set of stories amused you guys in reading just as much as they did me in writing. After this, I have the tentative plan of writing a full-OC story set in the same timeline as ME2, though more in a "Did you hear that story?" referential sense. We'll see how it goes =) Until then.


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